The Twin Trouble : A Story

The entire house was in a shocked, silent state; only some sobs could be heard at some intervals. Nikhil had received a couple of slaps from his father; his cries had by now transformed into mild sobs. Father's anger had burst out because his monthly progress report had the unsavoury remark : 'There is little possibility of his passing.'

Nikhil was lying on the floor, while Father had already gone to his room, still murmuring angrily. Mother sat down on the floor taking Nikhil's head in her lap. And there, Nitin stood blankly with his report card in his hand. He was hungry; in excitement for his result, he had not taken breakfast; so, he needed food immediately. Once again he glanced at his report card, which said : 'Excellent, keep it up!' He had stood first in his class and was among the highest scorers in all school, but nobody seemed to bother. What all others had seen was that Nikhil had failed in three subjects, and no more.

Nitin saw that Mother was still busy caressing and tapping Nikhil's head, and saw little opportunity of her paying any interest to him. He wanted kudos for his accomplishment, so he went to his father. "Here is my progress report."

His father took it, glanced at it cursorily and then gave it back, saying in an indifferent tone, "Good."

Nitin was dissatisfied with only this much appreciation. He wanted more of his parents' attention, but all that was diverted to Nikhil. His father said, "Go, show it to your stupid brother."

'Here too Nikhil,' Nitin said to himself. He almost sobbed within himself, his eyes getting moist, he silently looked at his father and murmured to himself, 'Don’t you pride in me and my accomplishments?' But he was sure that his sentiments would not be taken care of. He was dying to hear words of commendation from his parents, but they all seemed to be focussed more on the failure than on the success.

Nitin was growing hungry. He needed food immediately, so he went back to his mother. She still sat on the floor caressing Nikhil. He blurted out, "Ma, I'm hungry."

"Can't you see that lunch has been set on the table? Go and help yourself," said she in a little raised tone.

Nitin went to the dining table. He removed the lids to see what all was cooked. Oh no! Golden fried eggs, lady's finger and paranthas, exactly what Nikhil likes. His like was not at all taken care of. None of all those dishes was there that he liked so ardently. 'Is this the reward for his good performance?' Trying to suppress his anguish, he served himself food. Everything was cooked what Nikhil liked. Why doesn’t she cook at least one dish that he likes? He sat down, but could not eat well, but what he did was strange. He emptied the casserole of all lady's finger, ate only a little, and discarded the rest in the garbage bin. He was gradually growing defiant, wishing to have his parents' attention.

The reaction had to come sooner or later. After some time, Nikhil's feelings were assuaged and he was brought to the dining table. There was another shock. Nitin had already emptied out one dish that Nikhil liked best. Mother was furious, she screamed, "Are you a mindless creature? What will Nikhil eat now?"

His brother's name seemed to prick him. He cried, "Let him eat what there is. Let him starve, only then will he learn to pass."

"You don’t have to advise me how to punish him," admonished his mother. "Your father is thrashing him and you want him to die of hunger." Then she darted to the kitchen to cook more lady's fingers.

Nitin looked at Nikhil before heading to his room, mumbling to himself, 'He is quite stupid! When I am studying, he would go out to play. And Mother, she would run after him lest he should get tired. And when I ask for some help, she would simply ask me to do it myself. Am I not her son? She forgets about me all the time. She says that she can't run after me every now and then, and she exactly does this for Nikhil. She neglects me for Nikhil's sake. I hate him.'

Nitin decided that he would not do so well in the next unit tests; he was quite angry with all attention being paid to Nikhil. This time he secured a tenth position in the class, but Nikhil had improved greatly, he had attained passing marks in all subjects. As Nitin walked back home with the report card, he was excited that his parents would now pay attention to him and ask him to study well. He was a little scared that his father could hit him as well. But he was sure that Mother would cook his favourite dishes and would run after him.

As Nikhil and Nitin stood before Father with their report cards, he took Nikhil's report card first, and expressed elation. He said, "You are improving, Good." And then he took Nitin's report card and said lightly, "When we are satisfied with Nikhil's progress, you have come with this kind of report. Can't you both give me happy news together?"

'Again Nikhil!' Nitin grumbled. He said miserably, "I have still scored better than him."

"Don’t compare with him, compare with your past performance," his father said indifferently. He was still looking at Nikhil's report card feeling happy.

Nikhil stomped to his room. He did not wish to have lunch that day. He was thinking how he could draw his parents' love and attention. His trick to score less had not succeeded. And then he decided to fail in the next test. 'Only then they would realize my importance. They would love me and praise me.' To him, getting failed seemed to be the only answer. He was sunk in inner conflict. He was not studying well these days. He was angry that all their attention was fixed on Nikhil, who was not doing good, and he was deprived of all their love despite his good performance.

Days ticked by and the next unit tests started. The first test was that of mathematics. He had left for school with a firm resolve that he would not solve even a single question, or do them all wrongly.

As the question paper was given, he read it from beginning to end. He wanted to first attempt a question that he did not know. 'Ah! I know all the questions well. How can I do them wrongly?' Nitin was undergoing a great upheaval within him. 'If I did well this time too, my parents would never care for me.'

He picked up his pen and wrote on the test book, 'Question No. 1'. But then he kept down his pen. He could not think to do a question wrongly that he knew so well. He sat blankly and then burst out crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

All eyes diverted to him. He hid his face in his palms and cried inconsolably. His teacher came to him promptly and said, "Are you not well, Nitin? What's the matter? Is the question paper too tough?"

Nitin was crying uncontrollably. He could not utter even a single word. He had been suffering from his parents' neglect for some time, and it had become unbearable now. The class too was shocked at his behaviour. Normally, he was the first to solve all questions, but today, he was crying with the question paper before his eyes.

The teacher took Nitin to the principal who offered him water to drink. When he pacified a little, he asked, "Nitin, you are a brilliant school. The whole school prides in you. What's the matter today? Don’t you know the questions?"

"I know them all, but I don’t want to do them correctly," Nitin said with trembling lips.

"But why?"

Nitin was crying again now. The principal rang up his father, who came immediately thinking that there was some problem with Nikhil. When he found Nitin sitting in the principal's chamber, he was surprised. He asked, "What is it?"

Nitin was still overflowing with sentiments, he could not speak for a while. The principal said, "Your son knows all the questions, but quite strangely refuses to solve them. Do you know what the matter is with him?"

His father was bewildered at this. He said, "He is a brilliant boy and my lovely son. He doesn’t need any care or warning. He studies of his own, never does he fail to be a good boy. We are never worried about him, so good he is."

"I want you to be worried about me," blurted out Nitin. "Nikhil fails, still you love him. The more he fails, the more you love him. So I thought that I should fail to get your love. You don’t otherwise love me. You don’t want me. But how can I fail? I know all the answers."

Dumbfounded, his father looked at him. The principal said, "For any child, the greatest burden on his psyche is his parents' love. It is your shortcoming that you let him feel biased against."

His father could not decide for some time what to say. Then he started in a low voice, "Nitin and Nikhil are twins. Nikhil has been weak since his birth, he also has a lower resistance, he is prone to fall sick any time, so it is natural for us to pay more attention to him. Maybe due to this we have grown more anxious about him. We ardently wish that he too should become like Nitin. He is not like Nitin, this pains me, and sometimes it is so distressing that I even thrash him."

"You haven’t been justified in this," the principal said in a firm tone.

"I promise that all this would no more recur."

Nitin was looking at his father's face. He could clearly notice his wet eyes. His father pulled him and took him in his tight embrace and said, "You're the star of my eyes, so is Nikhil. I want both of you to succeed. In my effort to see him at par with you, I have perhaps made you feel bad. I am sorry for that."

Nitin too was weeping, "I have been too selfish, Father." He knew that he was loved greatly, only Nikhil needed a little more attention. He too promised that he would help him come up.

As the two walked out, the principal said, "I'll get today's paper arranged for you on another day."

Father and son thanked him before closing the door behind them.

                                                                                    --based on a story by Ajila Girija Kumar